Kempu Bus Travel diaries..

So I'm not really a travel enthusiast.. My idea of travel would be to travel to some place with people whose company I enjoy, check into a hotel and laze the entire time.. Why do I even bother traveling you ask? Well that's the very definition of a 'holiday' for me..if I have to wake up 'early' have breakfast on time, get dressed on time and stick to a time schedule why do you even call it a "holiday"? And for my friends who are bugging me about not having a passport, well I'm going to travel to those exotic destinations and not venture out of the hotel room.. so I'm better off at some local resort instead of traveling overseas.. And this is why I don't need a passport.. lol..

Anyway coming to the topic..For official reasons I'm required to visit certain branches of our Region.. and conduct an HR audit of these branches.. so last week I ventured to visit a couple of branches which are about 4 hours away by bus..Being an HR functionary has its perks.. The hospitality at the Branches was awesome.. Also I got a lot of cooperation from the concerned Branch Managers and was able to finish the audit in record time.. It was a dream until I reached the bus stop and waited to get into a bus for my return journey..

The nightmare began when the Volvo/Airavat was full and I couldn't get a seat.. The next option was to either wait for another hour for the next Volvo and risk not being able to get a seat in that bus too or to just get into our "Kempu" bus or the Red colour bus.. I didn't want to wait another hour for the next Volvo so got into a Kempu bus.. Managed to get a seat and I was so proud of myself.. Felt like I had won a round of musical chairs and the prize for winning the game was a window seat.. lol.. few seconds into the ride I became aware of the people around.. Next to me was a woman with her baby and her mother.. This woman and her baby were quiet and probably intimidated by me.. anyway I'm not the friendly types so I just looked through the woman and pretended she and her baby were invisible just so that I could avoid small talk..

I was enjoying my solitude when a woman and her 3 kids sitting behind me started a ruckus.. The kids were fighting with each other.. the mother was screaming at the kids... And I was just about getting a headache when the woman's baby (3rd child) began pulling my hair.. I was so annoyed so I turned around to give the woman one of my cold stares.. somehow her baby took it as encouragement and began to play with my hair.. now this isn't your customary baby who's bathed in Johnson's baby shampoo and who smells of Johnson's baby shampoo and powder.. this is a baby who's suffering from cold and is wiping her nose with her hands and then playing with my hair with those soiled hands.. Well I am a mother myself but I draw the line at other people's kids touching me with soiled hands..

My irritation knew no bounds but at that point I didn't have a choice so I just decided to do what I do best.. Ignore that woman and her kids and hope they get off the bus soon.. God answered my prayers and a few stops later the woman and her 3 kids got off the bus.. The bus stopped for a long time.. And in the mean time the woman sitting next to me insisted on sharing her packet of biscuits.. I refused to take them.. mainly because the bus was smelling like someone had thrown up.. I knew if I took a bite of the biscuits this woman offered to me I would've thrown up too.. anyway.. My refusal to take the biscuits offended the woman and she shifted to seat behind me with her baby and mother.. anyway I was relieved.. but this relief was shortlived when a man came and sat next to me.. Yeah you got it right! There are no 'ladies seats' in the Kempu bus.. people can sit wherever they like.. Talk about gender equality!!! so here was Uncle sitting next to me showing off his hairy legs.. and to make matters worse the bus stopped at every town for atleast 15 minutes and nobody gets off the bus during these "stops" since no one wants to lose their seat.. so the journey that was supposed to be completed in 4 hours was going on for 5.5 hours.. Finally I had enough and I got off the bus as soon as it entered Bangalore and spent another hour on the netro to reach home..

I was telling people at work about this harrowing experience and they had a good laugh.. And they suggested I write about this.. so here it is.. my worst nightmare.. for those of you who wonder what hell would be like I'm telling you, you can find it on a ride in the Kempu bus..