So how 'safe' are we anyway?


In the wake of the recent rape of a photojournalist in Mumbai the nation is 'outraged' as they were when the Delhi incident happened in December 2012.. Protests are happening all over as they did happen post the Delhi rape incident... Debates are happening on several news channels as they did during the Delhi incident... 6 months from now everyone will forget the Mumbai incident and move on with their lives as they did with the Delhi incident...

I'm saying 'incident' because I have become immune to this routine.. Yes! Rape is routine today.. There is not a single day that goes by without the newspaper or other media reporting crimes against women..Our capital city is referred to as the 'Rape Capital'...And there is nothing I or anybody can do... Nothing! Why?? Well, because we're the weaker sex...Because if a girl is molested it was SHE who provoked the man to do so...If a girl was raped she deserved it... If a girl was raped and brutally assaulted as in the Delhi case she happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time... This is the ugly truth... That our society (atleast most of it)believes that in all the crimes committed against women, it is the woman at fault... So it would be good if someone could explain to me that when a 6 year old child is molested or raped, is she at fault?? Could a 6 year old girl possibly have enticed a man and provoke him to molest her???

I read a blog today where the writer describes how a girl is molested so many times in her life from a very young age... And how the girl, now a mother is worried about how she will raise her daughter... I recall all such instances in my life... And then it dawns on me... Why my parents has been protective of me... why I would always ALWAYS get a shouting for not coming home straight home from college... Why my parents made it a point to know about all my friends, everything from their names, phone numbers,addresses... How I detested their 'protectiveness' and mistook it for them being too nosy and not giving me my 'space'... I went to the extent of telling my parents that it's a shame they don't trust me... I realise now that it wasn't me that they didn't trust... they didn't trust the world, they didn't trust the people around...

I'm now faced with a similar dilemma... I have a daughter who is the light of my life... I say this because today I cannot imagine a life without her... I cannot bear to think that when she grows older she will be facing the exact same things that I have faced but to a greater extent because criminals are bolder and more ruthless today... The Mumbai incident happened in broad daylight albeit at a deserted location... Nevertheless the idea that girls are most vulnerable only at night is obsolete... Anything can happen at anytime...While discussing an issue on similar lines a friend remarked that she was thankful that she has a son... Am I regretting the fact that I'm blessed with a daughter and not a son? Certainly not! If I had to do this all over again I still would've prayed to God to bless me with a girl... because she is indeed a blessing...

So the question remains... How safe is my little girl?? Not very... Can I do anything to shield her from the big bad world?? Not much... But yes, I can raise her the same way my parents raised me... I will make her believe that it is not a curse to be born a girl... That she does not need to take any crap from anybody... I will make her believe that she is an individual who deserves respect... I will be everything my parents were and more... To paraphrase a quote I read recently... For as long as i live,I will be my daughter's parent first and friend second... I will flip out on her, lecture her, stalk her, be her worst nightmare and hunt her down like a bloodhound if that's what it takes, because I love her... The day she understands this she would have become a responsible adult..There is no one else who worries for, prays for and loves her more than I do... And if she has said "I hate you" to me once in her life I will have the satisfaction of having done my job as her mother... I will do everything within my power to make her a strong woman, so God help me...

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