Home is where the heart is :)
My 6 months of Maternity Leave is coming to an end.. And as I'm writing this blog, I'm reminded of the scene from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, where Hrithik Roshan describes the track that's played on Doordarshan just before a movie screening.. He says that the track used to make him feel very depressed and now that their vacation is coming to an end, he was feeling low and depressed..
Right now I can totally identify with those feelings, since I too am feeling depressed.. And I'm about to get drowned in a wave of helplessness, thinking about how I'm going to manage the many roles that I'm expected to.. A mother, wife, a working woman.. It's just too overwhelming.. To top it all, I'm not yet mentally prepared to leave my baby behind and go to work.. Not that I have a choice in that matter.. It's just that the post delivery blues that I didn't experience earlier, are finally catching up with me..
That I have to leave my parents' home and go out and face the big, bad world, is not very encouraging.. In fact after almost 4 years of staying away from my parents, I have yet to come to terms with a lot of unpleasant facts.. That if my parents need me, I wont be around.. That I wont get to see my parents everyday.. Despite my parents being just a phone call away, I still feel depressed every time I have to return to Bangalore..Not taking away anything from the city that gave me a job, a spouse and very good in-laws and an even better extended family and some very good friends, yet, staying away from my parents has created a void that nothing can seem to fill..
When I was studying I so badly wanted a job away from home, just so that I could experience what life away from home feels like.. After 3 years the novelty of a life away from home has finally worn off and everyday I wish I was staying in the same town as my parents.. Bangalore is a place for people who are looking climb up the professional ladder. But it doesn't have the personal touch that a small town like Mangalore has, where everyone knows everyone and people are willing to go out of their way to help others.. That apart, Manglore is also the place where I have lived all my life and where my parents live.. And I have to eat crow while saying this, but I'd do anything to just stay back here and hear my dad scream at me, or have my mum keep tabs on every move of mine.. When I was telling my mom about this, she said that I shouldn't feel sad about going back to Bangalore since I'm going to be with my husband.. Right now I'm envious of every woman on the planet, who's married, and is lucky enough to be staying in the same town as her parents.. In a moment of desperation I asked my parents to re locate to Bangalore.. And they said that they cannot do it since it would make them feel like a fish out of water..
There is a Psalm that has very meaningful words which go like this "Wherever you go, I shall go.. Wherever you live, so shall I live.. Your people will be my people.. And your God will be my God too".. I have accepted my husband's family as my own.. I also have to accept his town as my own.. It will be a while before I can do that.. Until then, my home is where my heart is.. In Mangalore ;)
Right now I can totally identify with those feelings, since I too am feeling depressed.. And I'm about to get drowned in a wave of helplessness, thinking about how I'm going to manage the many roles that I'm expected to.. A mother, wife, a working woman.. It's just too overwhelming.. To top it all, I'm not yet mentally prepared to leave my baby behind and go to work.. Not that I have a choice in that matter.. It's just that the post delivery blues that I didn't experience earlier, are finally catching up with me..
That I have to leave my parents' home and go out and face the big, bad world, is not very encouraging.. In fact after almost 4 years of staying away from my parents, I have yet to come to terms with a lot of unpleasant facts.. That if my parents need me, I wont be around.. That I wont get to see my parents everyday.. Despite my parents being just a phone call away, I still feel depressed every time I have to return to Bangalore..Not taking away anything from the city that gave me a job, a spouse and very good in-laws and an even better extended family and some very good friends, yet, staying away from my parents has created a void that nothing can seem to fill..
When I was studying I so badly wanted a job away from home, just so that I could experience what life away from home feels like.. After 3 years the novelty of a life away from home has finally worn off and everyday I wish I was staying in the same town as my parents.. Bangalore is a place for people who are looking climb up the professional ladder. But it doesn't have the personal touch that a small town like Mangalore has, where everyone knows everyone and people are willing to go out of their way to help others.. That apart, Manglore is also the place where I have lived all my life and where my parents live.. And I have to eat crow while saying this, but I'd do anything to just stay back here and hear my dad scream at me, or have my mum keep tabs on every move of mine.. When I was telling my mom about this, she said that I shouldn't feel sad about going back to Bangalore since I'm going to be with my husband.. Right now I'm envious of every woman on the planet, who's married, and is lucky enough to be staying in the same town as her parents.. In a moment of desperation I asked my parents to re locate to Bangalore.. And they said that they cannot do it since it would make them feel like a fish out of water..
There is a Psalm that has very meaningful words which go like this "Wherever you go, I shall go.. Wherever you live, so shall I live.. Your people will be my people.. And your God will be my God too".. I have accepted my husband's family as my own.. I also have to accept his town as my own.. It will be a while before I can do that.. Until then, my home is where my heart is.. In Mangalore ;)
So well said....
ReplyDelete