Nothing lasts forever.. This too shall pass..
It's one of those days when I'm feeling very low.. I have almost drowned myself in self pity and I'm listening to depressing songs.. If I was not nursing I would probably have a drink too.. lol.. Well, that I could make myself lol is encouraging :)
So I'm feeling low and need to do something to raise my spirits.. And it has to be done without the help of 'spirits'.. ;) So I visit Orkut (yeah the Social Networking Site that is now obsolete thanks to a certain Mr Mark Zuckerberg) and I go through the testimonials my friends have written for me.. I feel happy after reading them, but the "pessimist me" is in the mood to hit me where it hurts.. So I ask myself if the testimonials are valid even today? Would the friends still vouch for the things they've written about me years back? "Pessimist me" says NO.. So I go back to where I was.. Down in the dumps..
I'm trying to think why I'm feeling this way.. And I realise that its been a while since someone said something nice to me.. And then I think about this girl who was my classmate in College.. She was high on confidence and so fond of herself that if Narcissus was studying with us he would've got a complex looking at her.. Yeah she was totally self centred and madly in love with herself.. Today I am wishing I had the same confidence and self love and could say with conviction like Geet from Jab We Met, that I'm my 'favouritest' person.. I can't so I go back to brooding..
I guess it was in some Personality development workshop that we were made to go through an exercise.. Sheets of papers were pinned to everyone's back and we had one minute to go about writing one good thing about as many people as we could on the sheets pinned to their backs.. Once the exercise was over we were told to read the sheet of paper with the good things about us.. We were asked to keep the sheet with us and everytime we felt low we were supposed to go through the sheet and feel good about ourselves.. Well I have lost my sheet with my good qualities written on them and now I'm wondering why we weren't taught to believe in ourself and feel good about ourself without having to depend on a sheet of paper.. why is it that we always look towards other people for appreciation? Why is my happiness dependent on whether a friend took the time to call me or not? whether my spouse complimented me on what a good job I'm doing taking care of our daughter? Of whether my parents complimented me on how I'm coping with motherhood so well? Why can't the "optimist me" stand up and tell me that "Yes girl, you are the best that there is..You're doing a great job.. No one else could have done it as well as you..
I guess it's just one of those days when the "optimist me" is tired of convincing me of what a good person I am, despite my flaws (which I would like to refer to as 'areas for improvement').. At this instant I remember a saying which says that when life brings you down on your knees, it is the best position to pray.. So I pray to Him to take away my feelings of sadness and hurt and He assures me that Nothing lasts forever, This too shall pass.. :)
So I'm feeling low and need to do something to raise my spirits.. And it has to be done without the help of 'spirits'.. ;) So I visit Orkut (yeah the Social Networking Site that is now obsolete thanks to a certain Mr Mark Zuckerberg) and I go through the testimonials my friends have written for me.. I feel happy after reading them, but the "pessimist me" is in the mood to hit me where it hurts.. So I ask myself if the testimonials are valid even today? Would the friends still vouch for the things they've written about me years back? "Pessimist me" says NO.. So I go back to where I was.. Down in the dumps..
I'm trying to think why I'm feeling this way.. And I realise that its been a while since someone said something nice to me.. And then I think about this girl who was my classmate in College.. She was high on confidence and so fond of herself that if Narcissus was studying with us he would've got a complex looking at her.. Yeah she was totally self centred and madly in love with herself.. Today I am wishing I had the same confidence and self love and could say with conviction like Geet from Jab We Met, that I'm my 'favouritest' person.. I can't so I go back to brooding..
I guess it was in some Personality development workshop that we were made to go through an exercise.. Sheets of papers were pinned to everyone's back and we had one minute to go about writing one good thing about as many people as we could on the sheets pinned to their backs.. Once the exercise was over we were told to read the sheet of paper with the good things about us.. We were asked to keep the sheet with us and everytime we felt low we were supposed to go through the sheet and feel good about ourselves.. Well I have lost my sheet with my good qualities written on them and now I'm wondering why we weren't taught to believe in ourself and feel good about ourself without having to depend on a sheet of paper.. why is it that we always look towards other people for appreciation? Why is my happiness dependent on whether a friend took the time to call me or not? whether my spouse complimented me on what a good job I'm doing taking care of our daughter? Of whether my parents complimented me on how I'm coping with motherhood so well? Why can't the "optimist me" stand up and tell me that "Yes girl, you are the best that there is..You're doing a great job.. No one else could have done it as well as you..
I guess it's just one of those days when the "optimist me" is tired of convincing me of what a good person I am, despite my flaws (which I would like to refer to as 'areas for improvement').. At this instant I remember a saying which says that when life brings you down on your knees, it is the best position to pray.. So I pray to Him to take away my feelings of sadness and hurt and He assures me that Nothing lasts forever, This too shall pass.. :)
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