The perils of raising a pre-teen daughter.. Also, Happy Birthday to my baby doll :-)
So for those of you who don't know what 'Karma' is, let me explain it to you.. It is the sound of your daughter's voice when you walk in after work (relatively early) and she says... "Maa, I've never seen you at home at 7.00 PM".. Sarcasm, on point! Few of my friends would say, "After all, she's your daughter.. What did you expect?" I now realise how people around me must feel when I dish out sarcastic lines with a deadpan expression.. People around are always on the backfoot, always trying to figure out if I'm serious or joking.. I now have someone who's beating me at my own game.. and whipping my ass, I must add..
Today my not so little one is celebrating her 12th birthday.. It's been such a wonderful time seeing her grow up.. While being her mom has been one of my best roles, one which I have thoroughly enjoyed, its not always a smooth ride.. There have been heartwarming as well as hilarious moments during this 12 year journey.. Also the pre teen years have been a touch challenging and can give an insight into what the teenage years will be like..
Here's a humorous take on the perils faced while raising a pre teen daughter:
---> I'm an adult and would like to be treated as one: You cannot make decisions for your daughter without consulting her.. I made the mistake of booking movie tickets for a movie my husband and I wanted to watch.. When we told her let's go for a movie, she refused.. Then we told her that the tickets are already booked and she asked: "How can you book tickets without asking me"? Needless to say I've learnt my lesson and there is just one other movie we have gone for after that, by taking prior permission from her for booking the tickets for the movie.. (Yes, I'm terrified of her!)
---> The fashion police: So I get unsolicited feedback about my clothing.. One instance when I wore western wear to office my daughter said, "Maa today you look nice.. Why don't you dress up like this everyday"? OUCH!!! agreed, I have a rather unimaginative/boring dressing sense.. But to have that thrown in my face by my daughter is gut wrenching.. And to see that she's always dressed in a black t-shirt, blue jeans and sneakers every time we go out.. Question her about this and she'll say that's because she "prefers comfort over style"!! (Double standards, much?)
---> Anything you say will be used against you at any point of time in the future: There's no limitation period for a grudge that a pre-teen can hold on to.. In one of her earlier grades, one of my daughter's teachers made an unpalatable remark regarding her handwriting and said she won't be promoted to the next grade.. This was probably when she was in the 2nd grade.. A few days ago, she says to me "Maa, remember when Ms X said that I won't go to 3rd grade because of my bad handwriting??? Well, I'm in 6th Grade now"... I just couldn't control my laughter when I heard this from her.. Also I'm very careful about what I say to her.. You know why!
---> Mood swings: And not just because she's MY daughter.. This is a peril every parent faces.. So one moment she's my sweet and loving daughter and is chatty Cathy spilling tea about all the happenings around.. And the next few days she's the Sulk Queen, moping around the house with a long face and all questions are answered in mono syllables.. I hate this but I also understand her need for space and so I just let her be..
As I'm writing this I realise that my daughter is exactly like me, her sarcasm, wit, humour and her sensitivity are all derived from me.. and knowing this it makes me hurt sometimes because I know what exactly hurts her.. I also know she overthinks a lot.. and I wish I could shield her from all the pain and hurt that she may face.. But I also realise that there are things that she needs to figure out for herself and there are hardships she must face and challenges she must overcome all by herself.. I just hope that she always has the strength to move forward with courage and I hope she always remembers that I'll always be there for her..
The song from one of my favourite bands ABBA is playing.. The lyrics are so apt for everything I'm feeling at the moment
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