Happy 65th birthday Mummy..

Tomorrow is my mother’s 65th birthday.. I lost her on July 1st 2022.. Nothing and I mean NOTHING can prepare you to face the loss of your mother.. It’s a void no one can fill and that’s an understatement.. 

Anyway, some dates don’t understand absence.. They just arrive silently, demanding to be acknowledged.. Her birthday is one of them..

 

December month is actually difficult for me.. While the whole world is celebrating the last month of the year and Christmas vibes are in full swing, I’m silently mourning the fact that my mother’s not here and it’s going to be one more Christmas and birthday without her..

 

But I’m not bitter.. Death in all its cruelty puts things in perspective and you learn that life is too short to hold on to bitterness and grudges..

 

So today I would like to celebrate the woman who was my first home, my fiercest protector and my quietest strength – all at once..

 

My mother is the most consistent person I know.. She would “walk the talk”.. Her perseverance and strength are unmatchable.. She is the strongest person I know.. She taught me discipline without cruelty, love without conditions and independence without detachment.. She taught me that being strong doesn’t mean being unkind and being soft doesn’t mean being weak.. 

 

Growing up, I didn’t always understand her rules.. But today being a mother myself I realized it was never about restriction.. It was just protection..  She wasn’t perfect.. And she didn’t try to be.. But she was steady and loved fiercely with the kind of love that stays long after the person’s gone.. 

 

Much of who I am has her fingerprints on it.. My discipline, my stubborn sense of right and wrong, my instinct to hold it together when things get hard.. She taught me everything I know about life.. The one thing she didn’t teach me was how to navigate life without her.. 

 

Over the past couple of years I’ve learnt that grief, doesn’t always look like sadness.. Sometimes grief looks like gratitude – I’m grateful I had her for 37 years of my life and for most of my major milestones..  Sometimes grief looks like quiet pride – I’m proud to be my mother’s daughter.. And I would choose her in every lifetime to be my mother.. 

 

On her birthday I remember her fondly and with all my gratitude for all that she’s done for me and for the kind of woman she’s raised me to be..

 

Ending this with a few lines from the movie “Mera saaya” which I watched with my mom when I was 6 or 7 years old

 

“Kabhi mujhko yaad kar ke, jo bahenge tere aansoo

  To wahin pe rok lenge, unhein aake mere aansoo

  Tu Jahan Jahan chalega, mera saaya saath hoga

  Mera saaya, Mera saaya, Mera saaya, Mera saaya”


Happy birthday mummy.. :-)


Love 

Baba 

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